On Mother’s Day, I let you in on a little secret…on how I have not spoken to my mother for a long time.
I have decided that I will share this story with you so that I can get some unbiased feedback. I am tired of hearing what the rest of my family and in-laws have to say (I will tell you what they have told me in the last part of this piece). My mother and I stopped talking to each other in 2004.
To understand the issue that my mother and I have with each other, you have to know everything. So that is why I have broken this down into parts. It is hard for people to grasp the situation when they don’t know the history. At the same time, this is not something I am doing lightly. I was raised that family issues stay in the family. But I think that writing about this will also help me figure out what I need to do. Writing it out may help me to understand the real problem and how to fix it.
The information I have is only based off of what I have been told by my mother. My mother was born in the Philippines in Artacho, Sison, Pangasinan sometime around 1950 (no birth certificate). She has 2 older sisters and 1 younger one. They were raised on a farm pretty much. My grandfather owned some rice patties and a couple caribou or two, which meant he was rich. The did not have any running water or electricity back then. My mother told me she was allowed to go to school up until 3rd grade. Then she had to drop out to help on the farm and around the house. Beating your children back then was okay so she told me. No one minded and sometimes if someone else caught you doing something bad and your parents were not around, they would punish you for your parents. It was like having a large family or being raised by the community…no one let you get out of hand.
When she was old enough, she had an arranged marriage. In that marriage she had my 2 older sisters. She divorced her 1st husband…I am still sketchy on how that happened as I am sure it wasn’t easy back then.
Then she married my father. I don’t know if this happened in the PI or here in the US. I don’t know if she married my father to bring her and my sisters to the US. All I do know is that somehow she ended up in Hawaii living on base with my 2 sisters and my father. Then she had me. I was born at the Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu, HI. If you are there or ever go, you can’t miss it. It is huge and Pink! When I was still too young to remember (around 6 months old or so) she divorced my father.
So that gives you a little background information. It will help you to understand Part 2 – how I was raised, which will be published soon, so stay tuned.